You know you have that song in your head now. You’re welcome.

For random Googlers, my name is Jo Hocking and Uncle Scrooge is my patron saint. Most of you probably remember him diving into his money bin or trying to get out of paying for stuff. While the feathery old coot could kick Thorpie’s butt in a pool of dimes and was a world-class tightarse, Uncle Scrooge was first and foremost an adventurer to me. Always jetting off to exotic countries to hunt for historical treasures, mine for magical gems and re-discover lands lost to the sands of time. Old Scroogey was all about using his smarts to triumph over monsters, crooks, mythical creatures, pirates, and of course, those dastardly Beagle Boys.

My obsession began in the most Scrooge-like fashion with a great-uncle scabbing a pile of comics from the side of the road. Ignoring the dubious brown stains and rips that frequently decapitated the citizens of Duckburg, I devoured those comics to the point of social isolation and albinism. Then DuckTales came along and I was hooked.

Now I find myself about to jet off to similarly exotic destinations where I will fight the modern day monsters of in-flight powdered scrambled eggs, currency conversion pirates, innate Aussie revulsion against tipping, International Roast at breakfast and lack of regular access to protein shakes, I feel compelled to pay homage to the my childhood hero. (Plus the Indiana Jo domain was taken.)

So, vigilant reader, I suggest you return frequently for my posts on the countries I’ll be visiting over the next seven weeks:

• Mexico
• Cuba
• Guatemala
• Honduras
• El Salvador
• Nicaragua
• Costa Rica
• US (Fort Worth, Texas) on the way home.

I also suggest you cut me some slack for any wonkiness, giant images, weird formatting or never ending scrolling that may occur as a result of me cobbling this together doing on an old iPhone, a $20 Bluetooth keyboard from MSY running on two AA batteries and wifi of varying cyber security standards.

Hopefully I can change the cover picture by then too. I had to put something up – it’s an old one from the ruins of Uxmal but I thought it embodied the spirit of adventure. It’s called the Sorcerer’s Pyramid and it’s meant to resemble a monster with a massive tongue. The Mayans hurled disemboweled corpses from the top. I live for this stuff.

What will this adventure bring? Hopefully not amoebic dysentery. But who knows? That’s why it’s an adventure. Although I have a colour-coded spreadsheet in tiny font so it fits on one page, so I’ve got more of an idea than you do. I think you can probably expect some puns and Indiana Jones jokes too.

Join me on a quest for adventure, history, golden civilisations, international escapades, and the best fine dining from service stations. Imagine an excited ten-year old with access to beer. That’s me. That’s the spirit of HockTales. (Actually, I think we will find the spirit of HockTales will be tequila. See – it’s a disease. I can’t help myself.)

I think even Uncle Scrooge would spend a dime on domain hosting for this.